Truth, Why Are You Doing This To Me?
by Sliksick
Summary: (REINCARNATION STORY PROMPT) So... I died, ended somewhere somehow in a world I don't know, and I may have accidentally become God's chew toy. Can it get any worse... or weirder? Maybe someone can help me out - wait, the people I keep associating with are crazier and more eccentric than me? WHY GOD WHY?


_Alright, a few things first for anyone reading this prompt/one-shot story._

 _I wrote this out in about... 1 hour and 46 minutes on a whim to confirm a theory about my writing process that I noticed when I put up my Naruto/Looney Tunes story._

 _Good news, results indicate that more tests have to be carried out to confirm a plausible way to get my writing juices started again._

 _Bad news, it's not the healthiest of habits, and I like my liver too much to overindulge. Will have to see if results can be duplicated with caffeine._

 _Still, while I didn't check my story sources nor proofread this, I think there's a kernel of a story here... somewhere._

 _Hope you guys can still enjoy this story._

* * *

Sometimes I really regret having a brain that is conditioned to make snappy comebacks when faced with a stressful situation.

I blame my mother.

Not my dad though: he always had a more morbid and dark sense of humor. Mom had more of a stoic barbwire dry wit to her that made others feel bad for whoever had her ire.

Damn do I miss them.

Frankly, I didn't care since it kind of made me like Spider-Man, quipping at the situation to defuse it.

Why am I contemplating this?

Because my mouth managed to bypass my logic and situational filter entirely and asked the being in front of me an idiotic question.

"So… what religion won out in the end?"

The being of… white light? particles? – tilted his – it clearly wasn't a her - head in confusion. "Religion? Won out?"

"Well… look around," I spoke as I waved at the void around both of us. "I'm in a white room with a being who is most likely God with a capital G, meaning that either I am hallucinating something awful or I was wrong about life and God is real."

Said being tilted his head back and gave me an honest to god – wrong choice of phrase – Cheshire smile. "Huh… for a man of science you are rather accepting of what I could be."

I shrugged nonchalantly. "While I may be Agnostic, I was raised Jewish, meaning the concept of God isn't THAT out of the box."

"True," nodded the figure in front of me. "For an Alchemist, you seem to be rather accepting of divinity."

That caught me off guard. "Alchemist? No, I am a physicist."

Now the being was confused instead of me. "Pardon?"

"Yeah, I specialize in particle physics with a splattering of quantum mechanics by necessity."

"Necessity?"

"Well yeah," I shrugged. "I was part of a team that was working on trying to compact the particle collider design. My half worked on it through the equational standpoint, trying to decrease the energy required to make the particle collide, while the other half worked on it from the engineering standpoint."

The being rubbed his head in confusion. "And based on your presence here, I can assume that you somehow…"

I breathed out in resignation, "There was a thunderstorm while we were working inside the prototype. We took all the necessary precautions, but we were caught off guard when the lightning struck the structure and turned it on. The others tried turning it off from their end, but the system got fried. As such, while they tried delaying it as much as possible, the rest of us attempted to get out. Unfortunately, the door was automated meaning that someone had to hold it open just for someone to get through… by the time the other realized that I condemned myself to death, it was too late. The last thing I remember is pushing the last person through the doors, doors closing, and a loud boom – like thunder clapping."

The being smile faltered, "And you don't regret it?"

"I wasn't seeing anyone, I didn't have pets, my parents and grandparents have passed, so… no attachments. Hell, the last few years of my life have been nothing but work and research into understanding how the universe was formed and how we came to be."

The being in front me shook his head in resignation, muttering something about 'human ingenuity' and 'astronomical odds.'

Sighing, the being looked up at me. "I have some news you should be aware of."

"Lay it on me."

"While you did die, you ended up with the wrong God."

I blinked. "Multiverse theory?"

"Hole in one, as the people in your reality would say."

I raised a brow.

The being tapped his head. "I linked up with your universe's God."

"Gonna need some explanation there."

"Your people had – have? - the right idea – GOD is simply too vast and powerful to be condensed and perceived as one being. As such, GOD made aspects of himself – Gods – to oversee ALL of his creations. We are all him, and he is us. We all carry on the same task of watching over our creations, from beginning to end, and all the vastness of infinity in between. All is One, One is All."

"And I am…?" I said as I waved my hand.

"While you did, in fact, die… the experiments your scientist were working accidentally punctured a small hole in the fabric of reality."

I panicked. "WHAT? Did we destroy ourselves? Is reality…"

"Calm yourself," said God as he raised his hand. "The hole was too small for anything to cross over from."

"Except for my soul."

"That it did. As to why it's in this particular string of reality is beyond me."

"String?"

"While the complexities of creation, being, and the infinite would go over your mortal comprehension of existence, all realities are in essence categorized."

"Categorized?"

The God nodded, "While every decision in existence may create branches, SOME decisions are too pivotal, acting as lynchpins for the branches coming from them. Think of it as a giant piece of twisted yarn: some yarns produce small amounts of fibers, other – produce millions upon millions."

"Oh… like, say if Earth didn't have a moon or not: the yarn with the moon would have much more strings coming from it since the moon would make the odds of life existing on Earth more likely and what not."

"A little outside the norm in thought, but correct nevertheless. In this regard, you came from a string in which Science took a much stronger hold compared to the string which I run."

"Well, that is unfor… wait, stronger hold? That means you have Science but its beaten out by something."

"Indeed. Remember how I called you an Alchemist in the beginning due to my misunderstanding?"

I blanched. "You're joking."

"I am not. In my domain, it was made that Alchemy could in fact function. And unlike your realities misconception of it as a pseudo-science, in my purview, it is a true field of research, bound by rules and laws."

"Really?" A form of magic bound by regulations that make sense? Call me intrigued.

"Indeed. It is studied, its refined, and its redefined with every discovery. So while Science, as you know, may not have advanced to the degree as it did in your reality, the tenants of it are still present and used in mine."

"Huh, good to know. But why are you telling me this?"

Now the grin was back. "Because you're going to be living in that world soon."

Pause. "Come again?"

"I talked to your God. You sacrificed your life to save your coworkers and friends – is that not worth something? Besides, more interesting than the afterlife."

"Well, sure, I guess. But how am I supposed to function in whatever one of the many worlds in your purview? I wouldn't have money, knowledge of the world, or even proof of identity."

"You would have your mind and life, is that not enough?"

I shook my head, "Not in a world in which people can manipulate the laws of nature by their very hands."

"Not true. Three very specific laws bind Alchemy."

"Only three?" I asked worryingly.

"Well… having the skill to make a transmutation circle properly is another matter and actually practicing the field is a necessity - not to mention years of research necessary to understand chemistry, physics, and biology - but the field itself has three infallible laws."

God raised his fingers, one at a time for each one.

"The key tenet of Alchemy is that in order to obtain or create something, something of equal value must be offered."

"Oh, kind of like the Law of Conservation of Energy."

"Correct. That is part of the First Law of Alchemy. The Law of Conservation of Mass which states that energy and matter can neither be created from nothing nor destroyed to the point of elemental nonexistence. In other words, to create an object weighing one kilogram, at least one kilogram of material is necessary and destroying an object weighing one kilogram would reduce it to a set of parts, the sum of which would weigh one kilogram."

"Makes sense."

"The Second Law is The Law of Natural Providence, which states that an object or material made of a particular substance or element can only be transmuted into another object with the same basic makeup and properties of that initial material. In other words, an object or material made mostly of water can only be transmuted into another object with the attributes of water."

"So, copper to gold is a go, but solid to liquid is a nay?"

"Only if what is solid can exist naturally as a liquid or even a gas. So gold itself can become liquid since it melts, but not a gas. Water is unique in this regard since it has three states of matter, and is much more manipulatable with a proper transmutation circle."

"So sublimation and deposition are still possible for the right element… what about ionization of gas into plasma?"

God smiled. "You have to remember that the worlds under my pervue are less advanced than yours – they haven't gotten to plasma… yet. They do, however, understand the concept of charges and currents, so it's not that far off."

"So the string I will be part of is past WWI technology but pre-WWII. Going to have to be careful then."

"I wouldn't put it like that. Time is not quite linear as you may think regarding advancements. Somethings can progress farther then expected even if the necessary past requirements aren't yet at the same starting point. But yes, that time period comparison would be the advancement of the world you will be part of."

"What about organic compounds? Shifting one element into another is one thing, but what about something like manipulating compounds, or turning a complex carbon chain into something else?"

God just stared at me and smiled. Looks like he wasn't going to tell me anything, so I sighed in defeat.

"And the last law?"

"No human transmutation."

"Pardon?"

God shrugged his shoulders and sighed. "It is, unfortunately, the way that the Alchemists of the world I am sending you to have interpreted this last law of Alchemy due to past actions of others. In your world, it would be considered necromancy."

"Oh shit… you mean…."

"No," God shook his head. "Resurrection of the dead is not possible. The Third Law should be considered The Law of Soul Providence. The creation and destruction of the soul is impossible, only the repurposing of it. Once the soul is gone, it is gone forever. Once the soul is removed and placed in something else, it shall remain bound until the vessel is destroyed or moved into something else. A soul can't be twisted into something new, mixed with another, and can't be made from fragments of other souls or from nothing. Homunculi are an exception since TECHNICALLY, they are a fragment of a human soul given form and fueled by an implanted soul source, meaning that no laws are violated – other than moral ones. People who perform such transmutations end up here for judgment and the like."

"So how did it get misconstrued so badly?"

God shrugged, "Blame it on human pain and desire to reunite with their loved ones. Along with experimentation and lack of ethics."

I stared in semi-confusion.

"You have to understand, messing around with flesh isn't against the laws – matter is matter, regardless if its organic or not, dead or alive. It's why Alchemists can make chimeras, animal or even human. The same can be said for healing via Alchemy, but that technically falls under Human Transmutation because of how they interpret it and is, in fact, a dead field. Unfortunately, due to a combination of lack of understanding of specific biological imperatives and knowledge of Alchemy, Alchemists will always mess up the transmutation, getting a one-way ticket straight to me if they don't die first. As for chimeras, you can't just mishmash two souls together and expect the chimera to work: you have to either get one dominant or take what you need from the animal to make it work. Its why animal chimeras are easy to make when only animals are involved. When a human gets tossed in, well… it gets messy. Frankly, some people should have noticed this by now, but most Alchemists don't get into the field due to the stigma surrounding it. Researching animal chimeras is barely legal as it is for Alchemists. Then there are the ones with misguided yet noble intentions."

The being turned behind him to the giant door floating the air, one that I swore was not there before.

"In desperation to reunite with their loved ones, people kept using a certain transmutation circle, thinking it would allow them to reanimate the dead. What the circle did instead is open the door to here to face the Gate."

"Why?"

"Because behind this gate lies the Truth."

"The truth? The truth of what?"

"The Truth of everything. They call it the Gate of Alchemy, but it should be called the Gate of Truth. It is the source of alchemical knowledge and the entrance to my domain, where no mortals are meant to tread. And it always needs a _price_."

I gulped. "You mean…"

"They think that whatever they offer that composes the human body is enough for a soul. No, it isn't. Something must always be offered… something of TRUE value and importance to the one who opened the Gate. So when the people think they get their loved one back, they instead get a dose of reality – a cruel dose."

God leaned over to me smiling, "Would you offer a part of yourself for the knowledge to function in this new world?"

I gulped. I started at the Gate. Just being near the thing was scaring me shitless for some reason, like some sort of miasma was pouring out of it that I couldn't understand.

I mean, granted, resurrection into a new world is a little out there, but I would have no way to function in it.

The language barrier alone would be problematic – unless for some infinitesimal odds they spoke English, Latin, Japanese, or Hebrew.

Then there would be the identity issues. No matter how unadvanced that Earth would be, I would still need paperwork to function on some level.

Then there are these Alchemists. If they ever figured out I was from another world, they would hunt me down for the things I knew. I know I was being rather pragmatic, but still, such knowledge is bound to be militarized.

But what could he offer?

My memories? No, that would make things even worse and make me easily manipulated.

One of my limbs? More likely, but odds are God would take my dominant arm just to screw with me for some reason.

One of my senses? Sight or hearing would suck. Taste wouldn't be too bad. Losing touch may drive me mad.

But what else did I have? The clothes on my back and nothing more. I parted my hair in worry, thinking what of myself I could offer without sacrificing too much. I mean, I had nothing of human val…

Wait.

My shock was noted by God, who smirked. "Oh? Did you make a decision? Will you go into the new world blind or offer something for the Gate?"

I stared at God with grim determination. "I will make an offering."

God smiled. "And what will you offer? Just be glad I am giving you the option: others who are summoned to the Gate aren't as fortunate. They need a lesson in understanding their folly. You do not, so choose wisely."

I breathed in. Time to bite the bullet.

"I offer my freedom."

Pause.

"You offer me what?"

"I offer my freedom. For the knowledge from the Gate, of Alchemy and the world I will be part of, I offer myself into your service. I offer not my limbs, memories, or senses, but my freedom. I will serve under you as long as you wish or until I die."

God paused, his smile now gone. "Are you certain of this? I can make you do things against your will if I so choose. I can order you to murder children, start genocides, cause pandemics."

I chuckled. "You just said it yourself not too long ago: you are GOD, a maker, a creator. You make plagues to punish people, to teach lessons, not because you feel like it or at a whim to be merciless. You give your children challenges so that they may learn so that life may continue. To you, all hardships have meaning and will behind them that we can't see. For life there is death, for conflict there is peace, and even in the worst of times there's a chance of hope."

"Then why makes this offer?"

I smiled. "Because the greatest gift GOD gave humanity is free-will. What better thing to offer him when one has nothing else of value?"

Moments passed in silence.

Finally, God started laughing and clapping. "GOOD ANSWER! Oh, if only others who come before me were as enlightened and daring as you. And here I thought only the Xerxesian was of some promise for humanity."

Xerxesian?

And before I could join him in his laughter, the Gate started opening.

And I lost my mind when I saw the hand vectors and red bulging eyes within. What the hell did I just agree to?

I want to say that I didn't struggle as the tendrils grabbed on to me and started breaking me into pieces.

But I did scream when the pain registered.

I stared in horror as I was broken down and absorbed into the Gate. Or rather, as I began to form right where God floated.

"Go on, my Apostle of Truth! Enter your new world reborn! Become part of it and carry out my will! Let your presence be my presence, your voice be my voice, your sight be my sight! Walk among my creations as me! For I am God, The World, The Universe. I am All, and I am One. And most importantly…"

I watched with my one remaining eye as God – now mostly composed of me – stared back pointing at me smirking as he won some sort of victory, "… I am You."

That was the last thing I saw before I started falling, things flashing before my eyes.

Then I felt it.

It was like a tremendous amount of information was being stuffed directly into my head.

But I couldn't handle it, no one could. It was too much.

Before I could confront that though, my body broke down again, and reassembled, the pain lessening slightly.

But before long, the process started cycling, over and over and over again.

Eventually, I lost track.

I don't know how long the cycle repeated itself.

I think I went mad at some point.

But then, did I regain my sanity then?

I don't think I did.

You can just fix what is broken that easily.

But maybe it did.

Because suddenly, I understood. I saw the truth. I understood it all.

"My, my. You saw more than I ever thought possible of the Truth for a human. Freedom is truly a wonderful thing. Such a priceless commodity indeed. But now to finalize the deal. Equivalent Exchange must be followed. Your last vestige of freedom is your name, so I shall take it as well. But now what? My Apostle needs a title, so I shall have to give you a new one. Hmmm… How about… Gabriel? Yeah, Gabriel Wahrheit. Has a nice ring to it…"

I blacked out after that.

…

It was night time when I suddenly woke up.

I only say suddenly because the cold finally registered for me.

Since I only wore a lab coat and little else, that was saying something.

I quickly dusted the snow off me, despite the winds blowing more and more of it.

I looked around, trying to figure out where in the forest I was.

Looking up, I tried judging my position based on the stars and the like.

 _North Area, the border of Amestris and Drachma._

I blinked in shock, trying to figure out how I knew that.

I slapped myself in the head after remembering that I literally just went through the Gate of Truth.

Quickly noticing something odd, I looked at my hands.

Two things stood out.

First – a lot fewer wrinkles and calluses then I recall. Odds are, if I looked into something reflective, my face is also going to be younger. Considering how many times I was reconstructed and rebuild, I was most likely de-aged quite a bit.

Second – I have a tattoo of the Gate's Eye on the palm of my hand. Quick check – yep, on both hands.

On second glance, they don't even look like tattoos. It's almost like… it's part of my skin.

I shivered. Question for later. First priority, warmth, or else death by hypothermia.

I started running in a random direction. Hopefully, I'll find a cavern of sorts for the night. I'll figure out a plan in the morning.

Wonder if there is some town or outpost out here.

 _Fort Briggs_

Another information dump. Hum… Strategic location, military base, supplies are a definite. But to heavily modified, have no chance to sneak in.

Then there this Armstrong woman as well.

Yeah, not worth it.

Also what with these dates in my head? They seem.. off. What year is it?

 _1908_

Huh, I guess I was more than a little off in my estimates. Truth did say time didn't flow exactly as I expected.

But I swore that the Gate showed me a tank of sorts. Or was that just a result of Alchemy?

 _Hands clapping, almost in prayer._

 _I am the Circle. My limbs are the circumference, my body the center, my will the runes._

 _All is One, One is All._

The new information shocked me so much I had to pivet myself against a tree to catch my breath.

Unfortunately…

" **GRROWL…"**

My fight-or-flight instincts kicked in. I slowly turned, confronting a giant Kodiak bear.

My first thought – why is there a bear awake during winter time?

Second though – haven't had bear meat in some years.

Third thought – OH SHIT, A BEAR!

Personally, me backstepping was a mistake.

What followed was the bear roaring and chasing me. Apparently, I was now designated as food.

I knew that a bear could run about 40 miles an hour, but I earnestly hoped that I could at least outrace it till I got to a safe place.

Instead, the universe answered in kind when the ground below both of us collapsed.

Running on top of a layer of snow on top of a ravine will do that.

As I fell and screamed in panic, some instinct kicked in causing me to clap my hands, and touch them against the hill wall.

And just like, I performed my first act of alchemy.

In hindsight, I could have just formed a platform of sorts to catch me. No, instead, I turned the solid rock structure putty-like, allowing me to catch on to the wall and stop my descend.

The bear didn't have that option.

I still swear that I heard the notorious Goofy Laugh ringing in my ears before finally hearing the bear crash against the bottom with a splat.

Since my alchemy affected most of the hill wall, I allowed myself to slowly descend, primarily since the bottom was much warmer than the top, with the lack of wind chill and all that.

When I finally touched the base, I spotted a lot of fallen tree branches along with what looked like broken crates and supplies.

I didn't see any forms of transport as well, meaning that I could only assume that they must have fallen off during shipping due to weather or an animal attack.

Lucky me, hopefully, there is a coat somewhere in there.

I quickly smelled the copper tang of blood in the air, unfortunately, mixed with the distinct smell of uric acid. Good chance that the bear is dead, his kidneys ruptured, and his stomach cavity burst, mixing it all together.

A lot of good meat wasted now.

 _Shiver…_

Crap, so cold.

I started checking the crates, but what I found wasn't that useful. All the food present had already spoiled, even in this cold. Sure, I found a lot of military rations and survival gear, but most of the clothes were too big for me. Plus, not like I could carry it all.

What I needed was something rich in protein to kickstart my system, and I wasn't going to find that in ratios.

I turned to look at the mangled remains of the bear and rubbed my chin in thought. God did say Alchemy could do almost anything as long as it didn't violate the laws and I did just perform it by clapping my hands.

I wonder…

I walked up to the bear carcass, trying my best to ignore the smell.

I clapped my hands and focused on a thought: Sterilize.

As the thought went through my head, some deep reses of my mind activated, providing me the necessary transmutation circle in my mind for removing all the toxic compounds and chemicals in the bear – urea included – as well as disinfect it. I didn't catch all of it, but mostly it included breaking down organic bonds. Where the energy was coming from to do that is beyond me, but since byproducts would be created, no law was violated.

As I slammed my hands on the cold earth, I watched in fascination as a form of electrical energy traversed my body, encircled the bear, and performed… something… and the smell went away.

Seeing as that worked well enough, I went up and started skinning and cutting up the bear pieces.

Thank you, Gramps, for taking me hunting.

Took me longer then I would have liked, but the knives in the crates were bigger then I was used to, so I worked with what I had.

Took me longer then I expected to realize that I didn't have a match or lighter to start a fire.

So I cheated and vibrated the atoms in a bear piece to cook it up.

As I chewed on it, I started thinking about what God said about Alchemy in this world. Curiously, I decided to look up what they knew about Chemistry and Physics, just to see if I could.

 _Ding._

I did not like what I saw.

While not getting the whole historical context, this… Amestris nation… was focused entirely on military advancements, and not even productive ones.

For all the skirmishes and fighting in the last few centuries, it wasn't getting enough advancement in return. In the years of WWII alone and a few after, fields of engineering, biology, chemistry, and physics advanced more than in all the decades of fighting in this world.

Their understanding of these areas was only as advanced as Alchemy required them to be. This isn't even arguing what year it is, but more along the organic progression of topics.

Their field of chemistry, while more complete and advanced in elemental reactions and products to his worlds point in time, had almost no understanding of why certain elements reacted as they did. For fuck's sake, the cubical atom and Lewis structures are even ideas yet. They just know what formulas are based on reaction alone. And don't get me started on organic chemistry – how the hell they discovered penicillin is beyond even my comprehension.

Hell, even me cooking my meat by vibrating its atom would be considered revolutionary here, even if something similar is done to heat water or cause explosions, if for no other reason then the fact that such an action would not fall under the steps of Transmutation, since it wasn't Deconstruction or Reconstruction, but an application of Comprehension.

Good god, there's a good chance that the Alchemist of this world gain a specialty in a field through trial and error. Probably why the only way to become an Alchemist is to be in the military – easiest way to get resources and past research without going broke.

Someone needs to kick the collective assess of non-alchemists into actually studying the fields that the Alchemist are ignoring. It's like the Greek Empire all other again – all that knowledge and hoarding, but no advancement since what they had worked for as long as it did.

I am going on a tangent here.

Again, first thing first – survival.

I've gotten my fill of bear, but now I had to find warm clothes that would fit me.

It was only as I was organizing all the supplies that a thought occurred to me.

I am going to be traveling alone with a lot of crap.

I do not look intimidating – at all. Skinny as hell and tall like a reed. I stick out like a sore thumb. Or a target.

I can't fight to save my life, and a knife can only get me so far. And guns… put a pin in that.

Alchemy I can use, but that gets noticed, and I am trying to stay under the radar here. Don't want the military on my ass.

And it's not like I can just make myself intimidating by making a killing aura like in those manga. I am not a fucking… animal…

I slowly turned at the remains of the bear.

There was a good… hundred pounds of meat and bone there. A horde of calcium and protein for the taking.

A horde of dead, soulless, meat.

God did say human chimeras were a thing and that medical applications of Alchemy exist.

Okay, pause – am I thinking about this?

I think the Gate did more than just dump a horde of information into my brain because I think I just bypassed all of the Hippocratic Oath and a few decent aspects of morality into Doctor Moreau levels of life tampering.

… I was insane for a while in the Gate though.

I found a coin. Heads, I ignore all notions of insanity and just stay hidden. Tails, I jumped off the crazy cliff into the darkness.

Flip…

Spin… Spin… Spin…

Thud…

I look at the ground.

I clap my hands, "Man-Bear-Pig hybrid it is."

I was about to make a step before thinking. _God, did you give the idea for this?_

 **I did not, but I like how you think, so I left that to chance.**

 _Ah, just checking. So this is…_

 **As long as the laws are followed, anything and everything is possible in Alchemy.**

 _Good to know._

I stripped naked, put the pieces around me in a circle, thought about what I wanted to do, clapped, and placed the hands against me, eyes on hands glowing brightly.

I'll spare you the details since I blacked out from the pain.

I don't know how long I was asleep, but by the time I woke up, the sun was shining into the ravine I was in.

As I groggily got up, I checked myself over.

The differences… were not as crazy as I anticipated.

Nails were a little longer and sharper, a bit more hair on the chest plus a bit of fang sticking out of my lips, but otherwise other then an extra few inches, all was normal.

It was only when I took a step and saw how deep my foot went in that I realized WHY this actually worked so well and why I didn't die from hypothermia.

Well, I expected my new frame – give or take it being about 195 cm – to be heavy, I didn't think it was heavy enough to make that deep a hole.

I slapped myself in the forehead when I realized what happened. I wasted nothing, meaning all that mass had to go somewhere and when my body didn't expand, it compressed what I had instead.

I don't know how my body was functioning with being so dense, but I wasn't about to question the shit that Alchemy could do.

Still, hindsight 20-20 in this case.

At least the clothes fit me now.

Now I have to find a hat to hide all my now flowing golden hair. At least it goes nicely with my golden eyes.

Hope that's normal here.

But now what.

 **Go to Dublith.**

I paused. _And that is where?_

 **Center of South Amestris.**

…

 _You realize I am in the most northern region of North Amestris, right?_

 **Consider this a test of character, my Apostle.**

 _Okay but still…_

 **Start walking, or your life is forfeit, and I turn you into a puppet.**

 _Okay, okay! Just let me get ready._

 **Good boy.**

 _I am not a dog._

 **Do you take me orders?**

 _Yes_ **.**

 **Do you obey without question?**

 _Well, I have to but…_

 **But nothing. I gave you a task. My word is law.**

… _you don't have to be mean about it._

 **Tough.**

… _can at least not call me a dog?_

… **Do this, and I might loosen your leash. Until then, MUSH!**

And here starts my life as God's whipping boy.

….

 _ **Two months**_

Dublith looks nice.

Reminds me of Dublin from the old pictures.

Took me longer then I would have like to get here, but I couldn't make money. Damn laws.

Walking was all and good, and train hopping got me far enough.

My size was a disadvantage in itself what with how noticeable I was and how much food I needed.

Still, that's where alchemy came in hand. I've lived off the land before, and I wasn't going to stop now.

It's why I currently had a rig set up to the giant bear carcass I was carrying around town. For some odd reason, it didn't surprise anyone when I asked where I could sell the meat. All they did was tell me to go to someone named Curtis.

I would have been doing whatever God wanted me to do in Dublith, but he has been quiet ever since he talked to me in that Ravine.

Not that I didn't try calling him.

Still, it was noon, my shoulders and back started to hurt, and the bear smelled again.

Seriously, what is it with bears and me?

A subtle application of sterilization once more – I wanted some money out of this thing, and I learned how to haggle by now – before I spotted the shop.

"Curtis Meats."

Except for that sign only had MEAT on it with CURTIS barely noticeable on it.

I shrugged, entering it.

Looked like your typical butcher shop on the inside. Counter, a deli display, meat on hooks, and HOLY CRAP THAT GUY IS HUGE!

God dammit, he was bigger than me!

Manly beard-mustache-sideburn thing he had going through.

He looked at me stoically – in an apron of all things – as I looked at him.

I put down the bear.

"I have a fresh bear for sale."

Silence.

"I can make you a good offer."

Silence once more.

"I would also like to buy something afterward?"

The man nodded. "Take it to the back. I'll pay by the pound."

I nodded, "My name is Gabriel."

"Sig," replied the man emotionlessly as he lifted one side of the counter for me.

I lifted the bear and followed him in the back, where we hassled for a while. I got a good amount of Cenz and a nice piece of ham.

Yay ham.

I was distracted as I was waving goodbye to Sig – nice guy – as I was exiting the establishment that I didn't even notice the dorn opening a woman walking in and reading a book.

By the time we bumped against each other, a flurry of things had happened.

Next thing I knew I was judo threw me against the floor, cracking it in the process, my arm still held by the said woman.

Who was now wincing and rubbing her shoulder pain.

"By the… what the hell are you made of, lead?" spoke the woman, eyes still closed.

I had the decency to chuckle as I started to dust off and get up. As Sig went up to the woman – who was named Izumi and was his wife – I observe her.

Slender, well-toned and tall, she has fair skin, sharp dark eyes, and upper back-length black hair often worn in box braids tied in a ponytail.

Looked about early 30's.

Still, something felt… off about her.

"Sorry for indecency of me being too tall for a woman like yourself."

Izumi started turning, "Well if you didn't feel like a wild animal…" The woman froze as she looked at my wild mug. "What the…"

Before I even had the chance to ask her about her apparent confusion, the door opened ones more, the running of small feet heard.

I had enough time to spot two small kids covered in dirt and bruises enter the shop… both with golden hair and eyes.

"Teacher, we are ready for another rou…" the boy whose hair parted in the middle froze mid-sentence, his brother and him just staring at me.

Izumi and Sig both looked back and forth from the boys to me, focusing on the hair and eyes.

 _Oh, balls…_

"Brother, did Dad have a family member we didn't know about?" asked the more timid boy.

"No Al, and if he did, he never told us."

I looked at my hair, and I looked at them, and back at my hair. I swore a rabbit was running above my head as the thought ruminated in my brain.

"He does look a little like you guys…" interjected a somewhat confused Izumi.

 _Better nip this in the bud NOW!_

"Umm… I am an only child?"

"BULLSHIT!" shouted the smaller one, actually jumping at me and grabbing me by the clothes, his nose touching mine in blind fury. "You're the only other person we have met in years who has golden hair and eyes! You have to know out father somehow!"

I sweated a little – as did everyone else – as I considered my answer. "And your father is?"

"Van Hohenheim. Your face is square like his, plus your hair and eyes are a giveaway! Genetics says you have to know him at least."

 _Huh, and here I thought this world wasn't caught up to that concept yet._

"Sorry kid, but my name is Gabriel Wahrheit, not Hohenheim."

The other boy – Alphonse I think – tilted his head, "Wahrheit? Isn't that 'Truth' in the old tongue?"

I happened to be looking at Izumi at the moment when that was said as her eyes twitched in shock before an aura emanated from her.

OH… now I recognize that feeling. It's the same as the Gate of…

Oh shit…

"Boys," commanded the _non-threatening_ looking woman as she cracked her fist, "Go outside with Sig, please. I have to ask this… Gabriel… some questions about who he is."

The boys started sweating and practically ran out on their one as Sig calmly went outside, but not before turning the 'Open' side to 'Closed.'

"Wait, wait, wait!" is shouted panicky waving my arms in front of me. "What did I do?"

"Nothing," replied the womanly in cold fury. "But you look too much like the boys for me to ignore, your name literally means Truth, I can practically sense the Alchemy in you, and every fiber of my being is screaming that this isn't a coincidence. SO TALK!"

 _Oh great, mom flashbacks! DAMN YOU, GOD! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?_


End file.
